My Extreme Run

Saturday was my first attempt at an "extreme" run, which is basically a 5k cross country run, with obstacles. The obstacles were:

• a 100' slip and slide
• a 14' ladder wall
• a 20' military crawl through sand under ropes
• an 8' wall climbed using a rope.
• crawl through two 3' diameter culvert pipes, half submerged in a muddy pit
• run though 50' of muddy field
• run 4 up/down sand hills
• go over, under, through, and over 4' walls
• race through a maze of 55 gallon drums
• walk a 100' balance beam, consisting of 2"x8"s balanced on edge in a zig-zag pattern
• military crawl through 100' of mud pit under ropes (glad it wasn't barbed wire!)
• swim 20' under ropes through a muddy water pit

I finished the race 63rd overall, with a time of 37:34. It was a LOT of fun, much more so than your typical road race. I am definitely going to sign up for another one. I hear that the Spartan Race is pretty amazing, and the Warrior Dash looks like a good time too. Any compatriots out there looking to join me at the next one?

Finishing the race

I finished my first 1/2 marathon on May 5th. It was the 500 Festival Mini-Marathon in Indianapolis, which is the largest half-marathon in the country with over 35,000 runners. I finished in the middle of the mob, not the fastest, but neither was I among the very slowest. But when you run for over two hours (again, I was not among the fleet of foot!), you get a lot of time to think. Some random thoughts:

1.  It's not an accident that running is used as a metaphor for the Christian life. Both are marked by pain, trials, training, and being pushed beyond what you think you can endure. Both are also battles which are primarily fought in your mind even more than in your body. Moreover, there is great reward and a sense of godly pride (if such a thing exists!) which characterizes finishing well (1 Cor. 9:24; Heb. 12:1). And finally, there is extra baggage which must be shed to run well, a bit more 'round the middle physically, and a lot more in my heart spiritually.
2. Success or failure for most of us doesn't come down to who came across the line first, but who came across the line still hittin' it. I'll never be a slim-hipped Kenyan who jogs across in just over an hour breathing about as hard as a me watching Swamp People on my couch. If I work really hard and get a whole lot sleeker (say 40 lbs. or so), I might get to where I could finish in 1:40. Likewise, from a spiritual perspective, I'd say I'm not a five talent pastor, but probably a two talent guy on my best days (Matt. 25:14-30). Recognizing that, I'm going to do my best to earn the Master a good return while not being envious of those to whom He has entrusted more since I don't have more for the same reason my running isn't not sponsored by Nike: lack of capability.
3. There is value in learning to say "No" to what your body desires. Just before the race, I visted by GI doc, who told me that my liver enzymes and blood pressure are down, my kidney function is up, and he didn't need to see me again for 6 months. As a Crohn's patient, finding out that my health has turned around is nothing short of miraculous. Yet even now, many times when I am running, I want nothing so much as to quit. But quitting does not help me become a more healthy person. In the same way, indulging every desire we have does not help us become more spiritually healthy. In fact, it does the opposite, plunging us further into slavery and death.

The heart of the matter

I had a small scare yesterday. I was having chest pain on the left side of my chest, just below my left pectoral muscle. I also had some slight tingling in my left hand. The chest pain was initially coming and going, but when it just stayed there as a dull ache in my chest, I decided that it was time I got myself to the ER to be checked out. I had an EKG, and two blood enzyme tests four hours apart. My blood pressure was fine. My heart rate varied between 48 and 52 beats/minute resting. All seemed okay, but I still was having the pain. Ominous symptoms of a problem, but nothing apparent.

The ER doc told me he is convinced that I have not been having any cardiac events, so he started asking me about the cold I've been fighting for the past month. Apparently, my month-long hack and cough festival, which continues today, has the lining of my chest so irritated that I'm now having chest pain. That, and I may have pulled a muscle or two between my ribs. So yesterday, they put me on a prescription anti-inflammatory medicine with enough to last for 10 days. Today I had a cardiac stress test just to make sure that I'm not having problems. All signs point to my being in generally good health.

For that, I'm relieved. Now, if only I could get my regular doctor to believe me when I tell him that I need something for this cough...

I can't put my arms...up

Yesterday was my first day in the free weight room over at the gym after a long hiatus. So today I am in the hurt bag. My chest, triceps, biceps, and shoulders are all sore. Ibuprofen is my new best friend. But I'm determined to recapture some of my former strength, even if it makes me look like I am suffering from some strange disease for a week or two.

The Interpretation of Dreams

So last night I had a dream. I dreamed of an all you can eat buffet, with lobster, fresh-grilled cheeseburgers and steaks, hot onion rings, and fresh pie all on the menu. I have no idea where such a buffet exists, but I'm sure I've never been to it. I just hope that "dreaming about food" is one of the stages on the Weight Watchers path to success...

In which, I do not lose weight.

This week, I had the distinct honor of losing not a single pound, despite keeping my found intake per Weight Watcher's online specs and exercising 4 times. Was this fun? Not so much. Especially when I spent the past three days on vacation with Karen in Galena, IL, one of our favorite retreat spots. Vinny Vannuchi's Italian is not near as much fun when you have to limit your garlic bread and pasta with cream sauce intake, after all.

Much to my chagrin, I discovered that the original program Karen and I used a couple years back (to great success) was different than the one currently in use. So I have played with the computer version to reflect the original plan and look forward to better results from here on.

All of which is a long way of saying I have fallen behind the dw in the weight loss challenge to this point. Which I sort of expected, though I thought it would take longer than it has.

Slimming down

Over at the dw's blog, she has thrown down the gauntlet. Apparently out a desire to encourage me to take up her challenge, she has updated our photo there to one in which she looks her typically gorgeous self and I look like a pudgier, lumpier version of the Michelin tire man. Nevertheless, the whole point of losing some weight (other than the health benefits, obviously) is so that such unflattering photos do not make me permanently reluctant to be photographed, like some sort of preacher version of Howard Hughes.

At any rate, like the dw, I have decided to join Weight Watchers online. Since I am doing so today, my weigh-in day will be the same as hers and the competition better aligned. Incidentally, I found out that the top end weight (according to WW, at least), for a man my height is 167 lbs., a weight last seen somewhere around the time I was working summers at my dad's old lumber company. Nevertheless, I have reset my goal weight accordingly, though I may have to start moonlighting as either a roofer or a lumberjack to attain it.

Big Fat Loser

One of the favorite TV shows at the Horn house is The Biggest Loser. For some reason, Karen can never remember the name, so it has become known at our place as Big Fat Loser, a much better name in my book. This week, I am the Big Fat Loser at our house, having lost 5 pounds through diet and exercise. I'm excited, because this means there's probably only another 51 weeks of courageous self-discipline, agonizing exercise, and the complete absence of bacon double cheeseburgers to reach my goal weight.

Run Fatboy, Run!

The title of this post is not just the title of an upcoming film by the same folks who brought the world that inimitable film classic, Shaun of the Dead, it is also a rather blunt way of referring to my New Year's resolution. I am a good deal heavier than I should be, and given a family history of diabetes and heart disease, that doesn't bode well for my long-term future. Consequently, Karen and I have decided to slim down this year and are going to register for a 5k run over Labor Day weekend. You can track my progress towards my goal on the new feature at right labeled "Goal Weight Progress."

Gym Class, Part Deux

As I mentioned, Karen and I have joined the local Community Center. Today we decided to make a date to lift weights together. We dropped off the boys at the play room (which is staffed by a marvelous older lady and full of cool toys), then headed off to lift. Three things about doing this stand out to me: One, it was much more fun to share the pain and suffering with my dw. Two, when we were first married, I never would have believed I'd be taking my wife on a date to the gym. I guess it really is true what Mom used to say about dating being a state of mind! Three, my arms are so weak from lifting I can hardly lift them up from my body. I pray this last phenomenon does not continue.

Gym Class

Today Karen and I went to gym class. Actually, it wasn't that bad. It didn't remind me nearly as much of the exercises in state-sponsored sadism that were my high school gym classes as I thought it would. In all seriousness, Karen and I (along with the whole Horn Herd) have joined the Pearce Community Center, which is an amazing facility, especially given the size town we live in. After signing all the paperwork and getting another lovely photo ID made (this makes 3 I've had to obtain for life here, for those of you keeping score at home), we were informed that before we could actually work out, we would need to schedule an appointment with one of the Center's personal trainers.

Which brings me back to gym class. The Center director is one of the prominent men in our church and the personal trainer we signed up for a slot with is the director of our Wednesday night children's ministry. Both are marvelous people, and were a tremendous help to us as we got properly "oriented" today. Our blood pressure, heart rate, and health history are now on file, and Sarah (the personal trainer) helped us develop a starting routine for both Karen and I. It was fun, actually less like gym class and more like opening a new, more healthy chapter in our lives. Now all I have to do is get up in the mornings and go.

Which reminds me. It's time for me to sign off this thing and get some sleep so I am not too exhausted to work out.