True Crime

Like all "true" stories, the following came to me with the announcement, "Now this is a true story..." When will people learn that the truth doesn't need an introduction? Anyway, enjoy!

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the acto of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken she could not get her key into the ignition.

After multiple attempts, it dawned on her why her key did not fit. It was the same reason there was a football, a frisbee, and two 12 packs of beer in the front seat! A few minutes later, she found her own car parked 4 or 5 spaces down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told her story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale young men were reporting a carjacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.

Which just goes to show, people really should stay away from the Nutra-Sweet. It will rot your brain...