The Conversation

I never read Ta Nahesi-Coates Between the World and Me. On the other hand, it was widely excerpted in many reviews, and the one excerpt I read that made me think I might want to read the whole thing some day was about "the conversation" that black parents need to have with their children about interactions with the police. I have since had opportunity to talk about this with an African American pastor I know and he confirmed that he has talked with his son, and given him this counsel: "Do what you have to do to survive the encounter. We can figure out how to respond legally later if we need to." Honestly, based on my (very limited) interactions with the police, I can't imagine having that conversation with my children, but I can certainly understand why it happens.

But over the last few days, I have felt the need to have a different sort of conversation with my teenage sons. The Kavanaugh hearings have developed a Through the Looking Glass feel to them, where the total absence of corroborating evidence plus a judicial philosophy antithetical to the so-called "living Constitution" is taken to equal proof of allegations of sexual assault some 35 and 36 years in the past. If there is any justice in the world, Kavanaugh's accusers would be asked to either provide significant corroborating evidence or face criminal perjury charges and civil slander and defamation suits. But I do not think that there is. In the world in which we now live, a long history of exemplary public and private conduct is no guarantee against accusations being made and believed. So I sat my boys down this morning and told them, basically:

Gentlemen, there are two reasons to not go to parties where drinking and sexual immorality are part of the equation. Number one, because fleeing immorality and drunkenness please God. That's the best reason. But the second reason is because we are now living in a world in which an accusation, true or not, can ruin your life. The only way you will survive living in that world is to live your days from now till death with complete moral integrity. If there's no evidence you were ever at such a party of sexually active with anyone but your wife, that truth might save you in the day of trouble. But you should still be prepared for a world in which you might well be Joseph.

Walking in God's ways is always best, always safest for many reasons. Here's another one. Though it saddens me that even doing so is no guarantee your reputation will be unsullied, it is my hope that these events might be one thing that points people back to the ancient paths and then, perhaps, to the Maker of those paths.