The Lord called me to be a pastor. Of that I am firmly convinced. What I can't begin to answer is, "Why?" I could have been as ministerially successful as an attorney who loves Jesus. I could have built homes for the glory of God, like my father and brother do. Back in the day, before I got diagnosed with Crohn's, I wanted to have a career in the Army, or failing that, as an overseas missionary. But why God called me to be a pastor I'm not quite certain. Maybe because God has a great sense of humor?
I think that answer must be right. Because I love to study, write, preach and teach. I even love to pray when things in my life get challenging. Which means that I feel actually equipped for about half the job-the teacher part. But to pastor means to be a shepherd, caring for, leading, protecting, and feeding the flock. And that's the part for which I feel completely unprepared and ill-equipped and therefore the portion to which I devote the majority of my prayer time. Since I was formed by God and called by Him to this ministry, I can only conclude that my deficiencies as a pastor are purely intentional on His part-given to me as a way to prevent the arrogance to which I am prone and to keep me always dependent on the Father.
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